How Much Is Enough? Systems That Don't Serve Us
How much is enough?
Dysfunctional systems dormant under layers of moss? Censorship and propaganda for the sake of compliance? Power abuse? Corruption? Control through shaming? Control through fear? Dictatorship? I really want to know.
For those of us born with extremely high sensitivity to injustice and an equally high empathy, the world can feel like a very lonely place. A frustrating place. An unfair place. A place that was not designed for most people to thrive.
Because for as long as we’re here, our existence is conditioned to fit into systems.
Political systems, economic systems, social systems, educational systems, corporate systems, technological systems, cultural systems, healthcare systems, religious systems. Other systems.
My problem with systems, big or small, is not just power consolidation of rich individuals and outdatedness of existing structures. It’s not just corruption and brokenness of institutions that are aggressively marketed otherwise. It’s not even the fact that we can’t truly influence who is in position of power (would be nice, but I believe that electoral systems are broken just as much).
It’s the system’s design itself.
It’s the fact that systems are created for everyone, and therefore they don’t work.
They’re meant to make our lives easier. They’re meant to work for us, provide the service of taking care of us. For which we pay the price. But in reality, they don’t serve us. They control us. They take our money away along with our agency, beliefs, and freedom.
They make us question our values, our thoughts, our decisions, if those don’t align with what is set to be “universal standard”. That grey substance representing whatever feels the easiest to control. For those to whom control is the want. The need. The everything.
And that goes against the very fact that human beings are not universal creatures. We’re individuals, unique and subjective. Different in shapes, nationalities, mentalities, beliefs, creativity, dreams, and experiences.
We look different, we think different, we learn different, we behave different. We are different.
My problem with systems is the fact that not only systems don’t work in reality, they also don’t work on a conceptual level. They don’t work because not everything is for everyone. It never was and it never will be.
Earlier this year, I read “Visual Thinking”, a wonderful book by Temple Grandin that highlights how American education is built around kids who fit the analytical, test-taking mold. She talks about the system that rewards one kind and condemns the others. The system that doesn’t work.
I enjoyed this book because this problem is not talked about enough, and because I see it first-hand in my son’s classroom. In order to succeed, kids are expected to be good at word problems, abstract thinking, and have a great memory. Those who think in images, patterns, or simply learn by doing, are set to fail from the start.
Many schools disregard art classes and push algebra as a universal standard. By getting rid of hands-on projects and creative disciplines, they take away the options for those whose strengths just don’t show up on standardized exams.
And guess what? It’s ok to have different strengths. It’s ok to have different talents. It’s ok to fail in algebra. It’s ok to succeed in arts instead. Everything is ok, but everything is not supported.
When those kids drop out, struggle, and check out, nobody asks what the system did wrong. Instead, these kids get shamed and labeled as “Stupid”. As if there’s only one way to be intelligent.
There isn’t. What there is, though, is hypocrisy. Hypocrisy and one-way-thinking that are packaged in a so called “golden standard” that comes with expectations and shaming.
I’ve always found it fascinating how western world is marketed to celebrate diversity while in reality this diversity doesn’t exist.
Speaking of diversity. It’s really interesting how differently people answer a question “Who won the World War II?”. It’s quite a polarizing question, and the answer to it largely depends on where a person comes from. In Russia, it’s obviously Russians. In the US, it’s obviously Americans. In Europe, answers vary.
As someone who went to school in Russia and France, and is now involved in American education through my son’s studies, I find it interesting to see how children study different versions of history. How nation-based systems promote patriotism through purposeful distortion of events. Be in school, news, laws, social media, church, and other places of influence.
We grow up learning this one-sided truth that later gets distorted further. We are being influenced, groomed, manipulated, and trained to be controllable and agreeable. We’re being parented by our parents who were parented by their parents and also politicians and systems they create.
As adults, we’re still being parented by politicians and systems, as if we can’t think for ourselves. Politicians and systems that lack the transparency and pressure for faith.
Politicians and systems that are mostly interested in power preservation. Politicians and systems that censor, scare, and control regardless if the state is called “democracy” or “dictatorship”. Having lived in both, I don’t see a big difference.
Corruption exists in both. In fact, in dictatorships corruption is accessible in every layer of society while in democracies it’s preserved for the elites.
Censorship exists in both. It can be theatrical and loud (think prison sentences, cancel culture), and it can also be quiet (social media algorithms and search engines placing your content in “no-show” boxes, digital moderation and selective removal of content that doesn’t violate any policies, sudden changes of policies).
Control exists in both. Propaganda exists in both. Can you think of a single system where having strong authentic opinion wouldn’t backfire through negative consequences? I personally cannot, because “the golden standard” needs to be preserved no matter what. Despite the hypocrisy. In “liberal” countries. And not.
And because we’re taught to comply and not ask uncomfortable questions from a very early age, people themselves become the tool for systems to preserve this standard and remain in power.
We shame each other. Belittle each other. Act aggressively and defensively when someone voices an opinion that threatens the comfort we find in existing rules and expectations. We’re scared.
When we’re scared, our entire being becomes extremely tense. We shrink and slouch. We self-censor and bury our true selves to the point of forgetting. We don’t notice how honesty is getting replaced by performance. How we mold our brains to appear likable. Palatable. Agreeable.
But always likable is not genuine. Always likable is digestible.
This is why I think it’s so important to express that authentic opinion. Despite the backlash. Now more than ever. While tech companies are pushing unregulated AI that can further distort the reality and upgrade the toolbox of political control, it’s a perfect time to practice advocacy.
I believe that AI is going to seriously finesse existing instruments of manipulation. It’s going to increase tensions and hostility between already polarized groups of people. It’s going to be implemented by leaders who don’t concern themselves with true well being of the people they’re meant to serve.
It’s important to speak up and connect with our own voice not for the purpose of influencing, but for the purpose of reclaiming and becoming whole again. For the purpose of remembering who we really are in the world where uncertainty is the norm.
We’re already conditioned to daily existence in the system of social media. One of the most powerful systems, the one that acts transparent but isn’t. This system feeds off our anxiety, insecurities, and self-doubt. It makes us feel like shit, and yet we continue consuming it. Because breaking free feels scary. Because the system’s design meant for it to be scary. Because scary is too much to bear.
When we’re plugged in and overwhelmed, it’s very hard to remove ourselves from our immediate emotional state and step out into a position of the observer. Analyze what is truly going on, what we’re being “fed”, for what purpose. What is being thrown towards us as a distraction. What would we be doing and thinking about if we weren’t distracted.
I created “The How Much Is Enough?” because I got tired of being silenced by systems. Spoon-fed by systems. Intimidated by systems. Political, corporate, educational, technological, cultural, and social ones.
As a parent, I got tired of being parented by those who think it’s in their right to manipulate me and tell me what to think and how to be. What kind of example to set for my own child. What it means to be a good parent. What it means for my child to be a good child.
By writing this essay, I exercise my honesty. I’m documenting my truth. The only kind of truth that matters to me since I can’t really trust anything else.
Because the truth is subjective. The truth is distorted. Because no one really knows what’s going on unless we trust in systems enough to give in and relax in whatever version is being broadcasted. For what purpose?
I am also exercising my right to criticize without offering anything in return. Because I believe that before positive change happens, there needs to be enough rage to break what already exists. To put a name to a thing that pretends to be something else. To highlight what is rotting while rottenness distracts.
We can’t rebuild without breaking. We shouldn’t rebuild on top of what already is, otherwise there will be no change.
How much is enough dysfunctional systems dormant under layers of moss? Censorship and propaganda for the sake of compliance? Power abuse? Corruption? Control through shaming? Control through fear? Dictatorship?
I really want to know.